Conquering a Fear of One's Magic

21 July 2014

01:55 Lucent pushes open the door and walks in, sighing. He's sweaty and tired from a hard day's work. The unicorn shucks his saddlebags by the door, then looks up and blinks. "Uh.. Hey, Ruzeth. ...Where'd you get all these books?"

02:00 Ruzeth smiles weakly at the stallion and gestures to them. "Oh, these things? I just kind of ran to the library the other day and checked a couple things out. Just stuff that sounded interesting you know?"

02:04 Lucent nods slowly. "Huh. That's neat." He walks over to Ruzeth, glancing at the open books he passes, and peers over the stallion's shoulder. "What kind of stuff?" he asks, trying to see what he's reading.

02:07 Ruzeth looks nervously at the stallion as he passes by the books. Some of them appeared to have diagrams of foals casting magic. "Oh, well you see... Remember how I made that one potion? I found it in one of these books..." He explains, avoiding the answer to the question. He leans back to obscure the text from his friend.

02:10 Lucent cranes his neck to try to see over Ruzeth and fails. "Oh, so like zebra potion stuff?" The stallion turns back to get a closer look at one of the diagrams he glanced over. "Hmm, but that looked like..." he mumbles to himself.

02:13 Ruzeth smile grows shakier as he begins to tap his front hooves together anxiously. "No... Not exactly... You see... I was thinking..." He begins slowly, "maybeicouldhelpyoutolearnmagicwiththese, please? He finishes, running his words together nervously hoping that the stallion would agree before he could process the sentence.

02:19 Lucent leans down to look at one of the books and visibly starts when he reads the title and sees the topic of the pages it's open to. Backing away from the book, his ears twitch as Ruzeth runs all his words together. "Help me... learn..." he repeats, ending in a small squeak.

02:25 Ruzeth folds his ears down at Lucent, but continues to force a smile, stepping up towards the unicorn. "I mean, like, we saw how much potential you have the other day. Wouldn't you like to be able to do that normally? It'll be great." Ruzeth gets up, walking forward to give his friend a hug, staring up at the horn. "It'll be great~"

02:29 Lucent stares off into space as the zebra hugs him. "Uh... I..." he says, lifting up a hoof and draping it over the zebra's back. "I.... really need to shower!" The unicorn pulls Ruzeth off of him and rushes into the bathroom, kicking the door closed behind him and hopping into the shower. With the stream of water pouring down his mane and back, he tries to resolve his conflicting emotions.

02:32 Ruzeth frowns and follows Lucent to the shower door as his friend breaks it off. Knocking a few times he shouts through the wood. "You really should do it. I'll be out here waiting and you can't get away you know!"

02:41 Lucent folds his ears against his head, but can't entirely block out the zebra's shouting. He plops down on his haunches and sighs, letting the water trickle from his mane and run down his muzzle. Ruzeth doesn't hear any response from him, but after maybe twenty minutes the shower shuts off, and a few minutes after that Lucent opens the door and steps out, clean and slightly damp.

15:23 Ruzeth waits at the door for a minute or two as Lucent turns the water on and sighs. He grabs the book he'd been presnently readying and takes a seat in front of the door so that Lucent would have to go through him. When Lucent finally comes out, the zebra looks up at Lucent with a brght smile. "Well? Ready to learn some things now? :

15:26 Lucent flinches when Ruzeth speaks to him, not having expected the zebra to be right at the door. He opens his mouth and works it silently, trying to find the right words. "...Okay," he says finally, "but you can't tell ANYPONY." The stallion punctuates his words with a swipe of his hoof.

15:30 Ruzeth lets out an excited giggle as Lucent finally agrees to his demands, hopping up from the floor and hugging him tight, presisng his fur against the stallions damp body. "Of course not. I won't tell anypony about it. wouldn't want you to have to deal with ponies knwoing that your going through foal training."

15:32 Lucent grunts when the zebra hugs him tight, grimacing as he's reminded that he's going to start with basic training for young colts. "Promise," he says, wanting nothing more than to go curl up under the covers, but Ruzeth's hug is preventing him from running away.

15:35 GyroTech nods his head against Lucent's coat and replies, "I promise, I wont tell anypony, though the libraryian thinks I'm nuts for having checked out so many books on learning magic, being a zebra and all."

15:36 Lucent nods and lets out a quiet whine, taking a few steps towards his bed and dragging Ruzeth along with him. "Ha... yeah... I bet that is odd..."

15:39 Ruzeth trots on over with Lucent before a spark of rememberance hit him. "Oh!" Ruzeth breaks off the hug and rushes over to Lucent's drawer where he remembers the practice balls being located. He digs through there and pulls them out with a grin.

15:42 Lucent mmphs quietly when Ruzeth breaks off the hug. He sidles closer to the bed as the zebra rummages around in his drawers, but when the stallion pulls out the levitation practice balls he shudders and dives onto his bed. Landing with a wumph, the unicorn grabs the covers and rolls around, twisting himself up in them.

15:46 Ruzeth pickes up each of them in his mought, still smiling brightly around them, thought he metal spheres distort his lips. When he notices where his friend was now residing, he cant help but snicker and shake his head. "Oh hay you, is time oo prasis," he says, speaking through his full mouth.

15:48 Lucent shakes his head vigorously and buries it under a pillow. "No," he says, his voice slightly muffled. "I changed my mind! I really don't want to!" The yellow unicorn presses the pillow against his ears with his hooves, his eyes screwed shut tight.

15:51 Ruzeth walks over tot the bed and spits the wooden balls out towards lucent, each of the wet spheres rolling out over the bed and coming to rest against the stallion. "Oh cmon~ It'll be good for you. Don't you remember how you saved us?"

15:53 Lucent only curls up in response, the large stallion hiding under the blankets like a scared foal. He shakes his head slightly, the pillow moving back and forth at the end of the blanket pile. Only his forelegs are visible outside of the blankets as he holds the pillow on his head.

15:58 Ruzeth lets out a loud groan of frustration and hops up on the bed. "Lucent...magic is cool. I really dont' see why you don't embrace yoru heritage. I would if I had magic." The zebra leans down and takes the edge of a blanket in his teeth and begins to tug it backward, trying to reveal the shivering unicorn.

16:06 Lucent tries to pull the blankets around him tighter, but Ruzeth can work them out from around him. The unicorn whines again as he's revealed. "No, magic is weird," he complains.

16:09 Ruzeth fully pulls the blanket off of Lucent, going so far as to tug them compellty off of the bed before hopping up and laying on Lucent's chest, straddling him as he tries to work his muzzle underneat the pillow to pull it off. "Magic is good for you."

16:16 Lucent stays silent this time, his whining stopping as Ruzeth lays on top of him. The unicorn loosens his grip on the pillow, letting the zebra poke his head in underneath.

16:19 Ruzeth pulls his head up, trying to pull the fluffy sack off of his friends head. "Alright, well cmon we should start practicing, or at least you should read a couple of passages in thses books..."

16:23 Lucent sighs and rolls over, slipping his hooves around Ruzeth and squeezing him gently. "Nnnghh..."

16:27 Ruzeth crosses his hooves on top of Lucent, not returning his hug, and making it slightly uncomfortable for the both of them. "Thats not practicing your magic..." he observes flatly.

04:33 Lucent squeezes Ruzeth tighter, then lets him go and sighs. "I know..." He reaches up and flips the pillow off of their heads. "It's.. I don't want to," the stallion whines.

04:42 Ruzeth lets out a long sight and strokes the stallions mane to comfort him. "Oh come on...why don't you want to? You've already seen how helpful it can be. You've saved my life twice."

04:48 Lucent leans his head into the stroking, his screwed shut eyes relaxing into a more content looking expression. "It's... it's wrong," he mumbles. "Not as good as doing it by hoof," the stallion says, sounding like he was repeating something from memory. "Not fair..."

05:01 Ruzeth cocks his head in confusion at the ramblings of the unicorn underneath him, his face twisting into a deeper and deeper frown as he goes on. "No, its not wrong. If it was wrong, then Unicorns wouldn't have magic. Some things are difficult to do by hoof." Ruzeth responds adamantly.

05:04 Lucent picks up the smaller zebra and holds him close, pressing his head into Ruzeth's chest. The stallion holds him there silently for a bit, slowly nuzzling at the zebra. Finally, he says "Okay," his voice muffled by the other pony's body.

05:11 Ruzeth continues to stroke Lucent gently as he presses into his chest, humming softly, feeling a little relieved that Lucent isn't talking down to himself anymore. The zerba's entire body tenses up in excitement as if he was going to spring from Lucent's grip and dance around the room when he finally aggrees. "Oh thats great to hear~ We should get started right away."

05:15 Lucent lets Ruzeth go and pulls his head back, opening his blue eyes for the first time in a while. He blinks and the corners of his mouth turn up in a hint of a smile. "I'll... I'll try," he says. The unicorn rolls over towards the side of the bed and slowly steps off, hesitating as he sees the open books strewn around the apartment. He manages to overcome his resistances and keeps going, at least for now.

05:22 Ruzeth smiles wide, staring down into Lucents eyes with a gleam in his own. Ruzeth rolls off of Lucent allowying him to get up, practically hopping to his hooves in excitement. He notices Lucent leave behind his practice balls on the bed and gingerly picks up the group in his mouth, trotting up behind Lucent.

05:24 Lucent slowly walks into the middle of the room, and looks about, at a loss for where to start. "So, um... what exactly were you planning?" he asks, turning around to look at Ruzeth. A momentary blanch flashes across his face as he sees the wooden balls in the zebra's mouth.

05:33 Ruzeth shrugs at the stallion's question, making his way over and spitting the balls out on the ground. "Well, I dont' know...alot of these books seem to indicate we should start with standard levitation stuff...so I guess...you never showed me how these work?" He says, cheerily, hoping that his positive energy would overwhelm any sense of doubt Lucent was feeling.

05:37 Lucent watches them roll on the ground and reflexively stops one with his hoof. "Um... I don't actually know," he says, staring down at the wooden ball. "Beyond just, um, y'know... lifting them." He can't bring himself to say the word "levitate". The unicorn glances around the room, avoiding eye contact with Ruzeth. Some of the books his gaze sweeps over very likely have instructions for some basic exercises to do.

05:44 Ruzeth raises an eyebrow at the stallion and then quickly tries to banish his confused look, not wanting to intimidate Lucent anymore. "Oh well...hmmm...I think I remember seeing a couple of these books..." The zebra looks over and spots a picture book for young foals trying to learn and lights up, rushing over to the book and flipping to the page. "Yep here it is," He leans down and picks up the book in his mouth, displaying one of the exercises.

05:50 Lucent looks over with some interest, and grimaces when he sees the young fillies and colts in the pictures, an unsubtle reminder that he was very, very behind in this field. He forces himself to study the pages, noting the exercise seems simple enough: tracing simple polygons with one of the balls. "So... do I just..." he says, stalling to put off having to actually do magic.

17:45 Ruzeth walks up towards Lucent and sets it down at his feet. "Well... I think you're supposed to just move them in different shapes. Looks like you should start with one ball and then add as you get better." He notes, patiently waiting for Lucent to start.

18:04 Lucent peers down at the book, then looks back up at Ruzeth in the vain hope that he didn't have to actually practice. Seeing the zebra standing there waiting for him, he sighs, then concentrates. An amber glow shimmers into being around his horn, followed by a similar glow flickering around one of the wooden balls. Slowly, it lifts off the ground, the unicorn watching it intently.

18:21 Ruzeth 's eyes drift up to Lucents glowing horn as he gets giddy, watching his friend do magic. There was a spark of excitement in him each time he saw it. Ruzeth bounces in place as his eyes drift down to the excercise ball that Lucent picks up, before he nods at the stallion. "So I think you're supposed to start with figure 8s"

18:24 Lucent briefly tears his eyes away from the ball to look at Ruzeth, and manages a nod. The unicorn lifts the ball to just above his head height and grimaces, his face contorted in a mask of concentration and suppressed revulsion. Slowly and a bit shakily, the practice sphere traces out something resembling a figure eight.

18:31 Ruzeth watches with a satisfied look on his face as Lucent starts to trace out the shape, though the zebre had already been quite convinced that Lucent would be able to manage such a simple exercise. Eager to speed things up, Lucent picks up a second ball and holds it out next to the shape he was tracing, urging Lucent on to take it as well.

18:35 Lucent takes a few seconds to notice the second ball being held up, intently focused on what he was doing. He balks, then grunts and concentrates harder. His horn brightens and an amber light starts to wrap itself around the second orb, until the, the unicorn suddenly shudders, his whole body shivering. The warm golden light wreathing his horn winks out, vanishing from the second ball and letting the first drop to the floor with a loud clunk. The large stallion gasps and looks like he's about to make a break for his bed again.

02:20 Ruzeth lets go of the ball from his mouth as he feels the warm glow of Lucents magic surounding it, pulling back to watch the unicorn at work. Ruzeths mouth drops open in shock as Lucents magic sputters and then fades away, gasping as his eyes follow the balls to the ground. "Umm...maybe you weren't quite ready for two yet..." he observes, letting silence linger between them for a couple of seconds. "Back to one then...?"

02:27 Lucent seems flighty and agitated and not tired at all, taking a couple of strides towards the bed and bumping into Ruzeth, who he'd apparently forgotten was there. The unicorn unconsciously wraps a leg around the younger zebra, then buries his muzzle in his mane. "No... no, I'm not ready. Not yet." he mumbles, another shiver running through his body as he hugs Ruzeth tightly.

02:31 Ruzeth closes his legs around Lucent, returnin gthe comforting hug with a smile. "Oh, its alright Lucent, thats what the books are for. I though maybe you could handle two, but I guess you're not there yet." The zebra pats Lucent on the back a couple times before pulling away from the hug. "Well...only way to become ready is to practice," He responds cheerily.

02:35 Lucent doesn't let Ruzeth go, using his greater strength to hold the smaller pony against him. "M-maybe later," he stammers. "I... I think that's enough for tonight." The unicorn thinks about trying again and whines softly, doing magic like that just having felt so /wrong/.

02:39 Ruzeth lets out a long sad sigh as Lucent tries to back out on him, puling his hooves away from teh hug anyway and trying to cross his hooves in front of him. "Only if you promise that you will work on it more tomorrow," he says, quite sternly, as if he was talking to a child who didn't want to eat their peas. The young zebra's look makes it clear that he means it too.

02:45 Lucent 's whine slips into sad tones as Ruzeth pulls his head free, the unicorn looking into his eyes with a sad, plaintive expression, pleading with him to relent. "I... I can't," he says, staring down at the floor since he could no longer bear to look at the adamant zebra.

02:55 Ruzeth tries to keep his eyes locked with the avoidant unicorn as best as he can, lowering himself with Lucents gaze until it dipped to low. "Sure you can. You arn't going to be a poor magic user forever, its just cause you havn't practiced."

03:03 Lucent sighs heavily, the unicorn's ears flattening against his head. He doesn't try to argue, just mumbling something about it "feeling wrong" and trying to walk towards his bed.

03:05 Ruzeth scrunches his nose and cocks his head as Lucent walks away towards teh bed without agreeing to anything, feeling a little disapointed in the attitude of his friend. "What do you mean it feels wrong? Thats probably because you havn't done it enough to have full control."

03:18 Ruzeth follows Lucent to the bed slowly, feeling a little grumpy about how Lucent just quit on him. "If its not that, then what is it? You still havn't actually explained what you mean then.." he says in a harsh voice. The zebra hops up on the bed, but doesn't lay down, instead choosing to stand over Lucent. "Well?" He askes awaiting an explanation. His presence is magnified by the fact that the pillows and blankets were currently on the floor, giving Lucent notheing to hind under.

03:20 Lucent curls up on the empty bed, covering his eyes with his forelegs. "I don't want to talk about it," he says, his voice terse and irritated. "Leave me alone!" Inwardly, he was beating himself up for not having the willpower to keep practicing.

03:12 Lucent flops heavily onto the bed, rolling to face the wall away from Ruzeth. He somehow manages to leave enough space for the zebra on the other half of the bed. The only thing that the sullen unicorn says in response is a simple "No."

03:30 Ruzeth continues to tower over lucent, pulling the stallions hoof away from his eyes so that the zebra could stare down at him. "Look, whatever it is, its hurting you and you need to tell me so that we can fix it. I thought I was your friend?"

03:36 Lucent closes his eyes when his hoof is pulled away, but Ruzeth can see they're wet. The stallion wrenches his hoof back and balls up tighter, covering his eyes up again. "No! Leave me alone," he says, his voice breaking. "Everything is terrible..."

03:38 Ruzeth grunts and and turns away, intending to guilt trip the stallion even more. He hops off the bed and begins to make his way towards the door, deliberatly having uncharacteristicly heavy hoofsteps as he walks. "I guess that makes me terrible too. So I guess I'll just go and make your life less miserable."

03:42 Lucent sniffles, his wet eyes turning into full blown tears. The stallion only manages a wavering "But" that turns into a sob as he hears Ruzeth walk away, far too deep in a downward spiral of guilt and self-loathing to do anything to try to stop him.

03:50 Ruzeth hears his friend begin to bawl and his heart sinks, the zebra's ears drooping as his head hangs low. "Alright...I'll stay...but please...I'm your friend...you should tell me whats going on." He stands there facing away from Lucent as he awaits a response.

03:54 Lucent blinks away some tears and let out an unattractive snerk. "I'm, I'm terrible at everything," he sobs, not actually answering the zebra's question. The unicorn was a long ways from being able to actually say anything useful, too caught up in his emotions.

03:59 Ruzeth gives an exasperated sigh, "WHy wont you tell me whats wront? Ugh..." The zebra walks over to the lights and flips them off, having realized that getting anything more out of him wouldn't happen this evening. In the dim glow of the moon through the window, the colt picks up the blankets off the ground and pulls them over his friend before tossing pillows at him. "Alright there...its alright. You're great, you're fine. We can talk in teh morning..."

04:02 Lucent sniffles, the pillows bouncing off of his head. The unicorn slowly reaches up to pull one of them under his head, his crying slowing as he tires himself out. Ruzeth's words help slightly, but not much, and the stallion stays curled up under the covers.

04:09 Ruzeth silently crawls into bed against Lucent and wraps the stallion up in his hooves, making comforting shushing noises. "There there, just go to bed, we'll talk later.""

04:13 Lucent wipes his eyes with a fetlock to dry his tears, his crying finally stopping. The larger stallion squirms around a little bit to get comfortable in the younger zebra's embrace, finding his presence calming and comforting. He grunts out a soft "mmm" as an acknowledgment.

04:26 Ruzeth closes his eyes getnly and strokes at Lucents body, pulling him even closer as Lucent squirms. He hears his friends crying stop though, putting a smile on the young zebra's face. "Good just og to sleep for now..."

04:28 Lucent nods his head a slight amount, finding it easy to fall asleep in his friend's hug. His breathing slows and steadies as he falls asleep.

04:33 Ruzeth listens to his friends steady breathing until he feels satisfied taht Lucent has finally passed out, and then allows himself to do the same, cuddling the warm body tightly in the bed as the drifts off to sleep.

04:33 Lucent wakes up early after a surprisingly restful sleep wrapped in Ruzeth's legs. He remembers the zebra wanting to talk in the morning and balks, the thought filling him with dread. Carefully extricating himself from the other pony's hold, he slips his pillow in to replace his body, then climbs off the bed. Taking care to walk lightly, he steps around the apartment, looking for a piece of scrap paper. Finding an old envelope lying around, he grabs a pen in his mouth and leaves Ruzeth a note. "Sorry for last night," he writes, "and sorry for sneaking out." The unicorn hesitates, then sighs and continues writing. "I promise I'll tell you. I just need some time to think." He scrawls a signature, catching himself halfway through writing his last name and scratching it out. The first letter of it is still visible, though, appearing to be a "G". Lucent grabs his saddlebags and quietly sneaks out the door, giving the sleeping zebra one last look and sigh as he leaves.